Random Sunday Evening Thoughts

• first let me say happy Father's Day to any fathers that happen across my blog. (i don't think any of my regular readers are daddies.)
• for some reason i felt kinda depressed today. i woke up to go to church and just did not feel like going. i lolly gagged about getting ready, and ended up leaving about 15 minutes later than i should have. (at the church i attend, if you don't get there on time, if not early, you will not get a seat.) i got to church (and got a seat) and for some reason couldn't really focus on any part of the service. sure, i clapped and sang along during praise and worship, but my heart wasn't truly into it. i listened to the sermon (which was about dads), took notes dutifully, but still it was like i was just going through the motions. deep down, i feel like i should have just stayed at home, if that's the way i was going to respond. i don't know, i guess i felt like i was cheating God or something...
• i think i found an apartment. i gave the leasing consultant a check to hold it, while i looked at some others. i just need to fax in my rental application so they can run the credit check and rental check and all of that. the place seems ok. then again, you never really know until you live there. it's about 9 miles from my job, and i won't have to take the expressway to get there, which is a great thing. the one thing that kinda upsets me, and this is very silly of me, is that the complex isn't in Atlanta proper, it's in a suburb. for some reason i want to have an Atlanta address. lol... i know, very silly of me to be concerned about that when i've been crying about how hard it is to find a place to live. also, the shortest lease term they have is 10 months. i really hope it's not bad because 10 months is a long time not to like a place. then again, with school and work, it's not likely i'll be at home too often. also, the heating is gas powered. i prefer gas cooking, but i'm already terrified at the thought of what my gas bill will look like come winter. (i know, it's a long ways off, but that's how my mind works more often than not.)
• after church i stopped at home and for some reason decided to go clothes shopping. do i have money to go shopping? of course not. so, what foolish thing did i do? i put the purchases on my credit card... i didn't buy very many things, and what i did buy was on sale, and i can be worn to work, but i'm still going to have to take them back. now that i think about it, shopping was probably supposed to alleviate my state of depression. hmmm... it didn't really work.
• i'm saddened that i'll have to leave my current house. i love this house, and the neighborhood. but, as is the case with a gentrified neighborhood, it's too pricey for me to to stay here alone. it trips me out this was once a neighborhood where you couldn't pay people to live here, and now those who once lived here couldn't afford to return.
  
• while coming home from church, it dawned on me that i used almost half a tank of gas in just one day! i'm tired of having to decide whether or not i'll go somewhere or do something based on the amount of gas it will cause me to use. that being said, i'm kinda dreading going home and not having my own transportation. i can't afford to rent a car, and i don't know what i'll do with myself while my aunt's at work. she'll probably let me borrow hers, but you know, there's nothing like being able to use your own transportation to get yourself from point A to B.
• for some reason i'm agitated when people ask me "but, you're still going to school, right?" when i tell them i'm starting a full time job. i could see if i was still in undergrad, but i'm working on my 2nd Master's. taking some time off or going half time isn't a bad thing at all.
  
• i keep having to reiterate to people that my new job is full time. for some reason, people think this gig is going to be like a hobby as opposed to a career. for some reason, that gets on my nerves.
  
• while in the mall yesterday, i saw a young man wearing a T-shirt that at the top said "Remember when..." and at the bottom said "Bring back money!" and in the middle of those two phrases was a picture of one of the old school food stamps. i just shook my head at the ignorance...