catching up...

• well, not really. more like just filling you in. nothing new to report. school is still... school. i still don't love it, or really like it, but at least i'm getting used to it. report cards come out next week. most of my students are failing in reading. and why? well, mainly because the assistant principal requires us to give grades on things that are a) not developmentally appropriate (i.e. having 1st grade students learn to read 10-11 words in one week) and b) are not things should students even be given a grade on (e.g. how fluently they can read). i e-mailed my concerns to the grade chair who agrees with me and she said we'd set up a meeting with the assistant principal to voice our concerns. the grade chair also said that our students' parents don't have a sincere interest in their child's education. all i could do is sigh. maybe i'm again showing my youthful naivety, but i just refuse to believe that. anyway, hopefully things will change for the better... soon.
• the trip to ATL last weekend was cool. being there made me feel like i was home and made me wonder why i ever left. if i had to do it all over again, i would have requested to stay in ATL to teach. but, what's done is done. unfortunately, i don't see a trip back until May 2009, for my 5 year reunion. the only down side to the trip was realizing that my best friend from college and i have grown apart. it's really not necessary to re-hash what happened to make me feel this way. actually, i've kinda had that feeling since last year, when i spent part of my birthday in NYC with her. but, such is life, i suppose. we're still friends, but not as close as we once were. i also saw my former boss at the tailgate. he's a Morehouse man, so i kinda thought he would be there. it was good to see him and catch up. it was also nice to see his very cute best friend.
• one of my uncles and i have been playing phone tag for a minute now. truth be told, i've kinda been avoiding him. i can't quite figure out why because my uncle's very cool. i always enjoy his conversation. i think it's because he's calling to see how things are going. and well, i'm tired of saying the same thing over and over again. (hence the reason i've slowed down on blogging.) what i'll probably do is call him back when i know he won't be at home. kinda dirty, i know. but, well, what can i say? i'll talk when i'm ready.
• the weather here's actually starting to feel like fall! last Monday i came back from my little vacay and decided to wear a sundress and open toed sandals to school. big mistake! the weather got cold quickly and i nearly froze my ass off! i was more than excited to don my sweater the next day and the day after. i hope the weather stays this way for a while.
• a few weeks ago, i rented The Corner and thought it was incredible. sad, but a great miniseries. i know it's kinda old, but hey, i haven't watched HBO is like 10 years! when u found out the miniseries was also a book, i decided to check it out. it's also very well written. when i read ethnographies like that, it never ceases to amaze how a stranger can penetrate the lives of people so well.
• the book also has the academic side to it, and it got me to wishing that i was in grad school again. it got me to thinking about going back and pursuing my Ph.D. after my teaching tour of duty is over. a part of me wants to go back to Spelman and teach. truth be told, to do that has always been a small desire of mine that went unvoiced. it's funny because i still have no idea of what i really want to do with my life. i feel like i've been floating from one place to another without a real plan in mind for a few years. which, is ok, i guess. i just feel like i need to get my life in order. sometimes i wonder if i'm running from my true purpose in life.
  
• my apartment is in complete disarray. they say your surroundings are a reflection of your life. hmmm...
  
• my 25th is right around the corner. i can't quite decide what to do, if anything. my original plan was to hit the spa, but i don't know if i'll be able to afford it.
  
• this month is an "extra" paycheck month! yay! funny how you can get excited about $$ you're rightfully entitled to anyway.
  

until next time...

this & that

• why does the wireless here at the library suck? sometimes it's seems as slow as dial up. i thought it was a problem w/ my laptop, but it works just fine at other wifi locations. so, it must be the library. i guess i shouldn't complain about free things... then again, isn't the library funded by tax payers? then maybe i can complain!
• uhmmm... i still haven't purchased my return ticket to Houston for next Sunday. there are still a few fairly cheap seats left on Airtran. unfortunately, one is a 8 am departure.
• i had an HISD new teacher training/professional development today. yes, on a Saturday. it was supposed to go from 8:30 to 3:30. i got there, looked over the sessions and saw that much of it was content i'd had from TFA trainings and/or at summer institute. so, after i signed in, i went back home and came back several hours later for the part of training i felt would be more useful. it dawned on me that one thing that'd been bothering me about this teaching thing is that in fact, i'm paying to work for the school district. since i didn't go through a regular teacher education program, i have to get certified via the Alternative Certification Program. ACP deducts about $170 from each "intern's" paycheck for being a part of the program. after giving it a lot of thought, i don't know what i'm paying for exactly. i have an ACP "supervisor" who comes to visit once a month, until last week i had weekly classes i had to attend, and i also have to turn in monthly portfolios. other than that, i don't know what i'm paying for exactly. see, we also have to pay for four grad school classes at $300/each, books for the courses, required standardized tests teachers must take, fingerprinting, and the list goes on and on. i tell ya...
• i need to do something with my hair. i can't go to ATL looking a mess. i'm thinking of coloring it myself to darken it up for the fall. although, it's in the eighties here in Houston and feels nothing like fall. so, Deep, be on the look out for an SOS text if i screw it up. ;-)
• i'm reading The Known World and finally i'm able to get into it. i bought it a while ago (or maybe it was purchased for me... i forget) and couldn't get into it. i thought it would end up being like Beloved, which i tried time and time again to read. anyway, it's a very interesting book. it's also one of those books you can't skim through or you'll miss a key point. that's good for me because it means that i can't let my mind wander to my worries/concerns.
• towards the end of the day on Friday, Jose gave me a huge hug. it shocked me. when i greet the kids in the morning, i let them choose btw. a hug, high 5 or a handshake after they say good morning. day after day Jose blasts through without any sort of greeting. wonders never cease... his behavior on Friday was much better than it normally is and his mom wasn't there. i wonder if this means things are making a change for the better or if this is just an exception to the rule. hopefully it's the former.
  
• first stop when i get to ATL: Bonner Bros. to get my eyebrows arched. yes, it is that serious.
• tutorials began this week. i have 7 kids in tutorials, which is really too many. there are so many of them because they don't study their high frequency words (e.g. care, mother... basically words that they can't sound out. in my class we call them by heart words because they are words they need to know by heart.) anyway, on Friday (test day) one of my students who is in tutorials hadn't made much progress. so, i asked her if she also studied at home. she said she hadn't and i asked her why not. she said her dad told her to put them in her bookbag until someone could help her. come to find out her dad doesn't help her because he doesn't know the words himself. in TFA, we always talk about putting our students on a different life path. after she told me that, my job to do that became even more real.
  

something to look forward to...

well, last week was better than the past month. i'll give it that. the student i have left with the behavioral problems (Jose) had his mom with him for four days out of the week and one day both his parents came and sat with him all day long. he was better with them than when he's just with me, but they still had to coax him to sit up and follow directions. neither one came on Friday. i don't know what they're going to do because realistically, a parent can't come and sit with him for the rest of his life. it also means that i'll need to find more ways to reach him and work with him. i had a TFA professional development workshop on Saturday and one of the sessions was about strategies that to deal with severe behavioral problems in class. it led me to see how much more i can do with/him. the one good thing is that he loves math. it's the main thing he'll sit down and do without a lot of coaxing. reading and language arts---- well, that's another issue. part of the problem is that he has a speech problem and he also doesn't hear much English at home since both his parents only speak Spanish. oddly enough, though he knows Spanish he doesn't like to speak it.

but, on a lighter note, there is some progress with another one of my students. Day'ja came to my class two weeks after school started and i found out that she had only been to kindergarten for part of the year last year. so, she knew her letters, but didn't know letter-sound correspondence. she also doesn't know how to write her numbers from 1-100. she can recognize them, but doesn't know how to write them. the concepts of addition and subtraction are still a little shaky. this is ok for kinder, of course. but, in 1st, we have weekly spelling tests and number dictation tests and learn about fact families, etc. so, she's at a severe disadvantage. the remedy to this, of course, is small group instruction. but, with the behavior problems i was having, small groups were out of the question. anyway, on Friday, i had them do a worksheet packet while i did high frequency words assessment (sorry about all the teacher/school lingo) and one of the sheets was where they had to look at letter of the alphabet, look at three pictures, and then color the picture that had that letter as the final sound. now, for the past few days, Day'ja sobbed nearly hysterically for almost the entire day because she had no idea of what to do. even when i would come over to help her, she just cried like somebody had just died. earlier in the day she refused to take her spelling test, because, well, she didn't know how to spell anything. so, when she asked me how to do that worksheet, i geared up for tears. to my surprise, when i asked her what sounds the letter made, she knew them! and she could look at the pictures, emphasize the final sound, and color the correct picture. i was so happy for her! she's starting tutorials with me this week. so, i'm expecting to see even more improvement. i'm also hoping to move to small group instruction in class because i know that's the key to reaching my students.

yesterday, i went ahead and bought my ticket to ATL for next Friday. i'd been putting it off because a) i didn't have the money (and well, i still don't really have all of it. i had to get a one way ticket and i'll get the ticket back in a few days. well, unless i decide to stay! just kidding... sort of ;-) and b) it was looking like it would be too expensive. originally, three of us were going to come down. so, that meant hotel and rental car could be split three ways. well, one of my friends had to back out b/c she had a block of tests the monday after homecoming. the greatest cost was going to be the hotel and me and my other friend didn't think we could swing it. also, tickets were not as cheap as they once were. long story short, we're going to stay with some of our friends who have room (albeit very little) at their apartments. i looked online and saw a one-way ticket for Friday at $99 and took it as a sign i needed to go. i'm already missing a half day at school that week and was hesitant to take a whole day off. but, i need it. so, i'll be leaving for ATL at the crack of dawn next Friday! there's a saying that if a 1st year teacher can make it to Thanksgiving, you'll be ok. i've modified that... if i can make it to Homecoming, i'll be good.

anyway, i guess that's all for now. i really miss blogging and reading your blogs on the regular. truth be told, i miss having a life that doesn't involve lesson planning, grading papers, copying, and worrying about my students. hopefully i'll soon have that "Good Life" Kanye's taking about. until next time...