the last time i did this type of post was in October of 2006. since then i've gained some new readers, lost several, and well my personal life has changed since then. so, if you're reading this, i invite you to ask me anything you want to know about me. you can post your question either in the comments section or if you prefer to remain anonymous, you can e-mail me your questions at blkbutterfly82@gmail.com. don't worry if you think your questions are too personal (if it's something i really don't want to answer, i'll tell you), is something you asked before, or something you think i mentioned before in my blog.
i won't put a limit on the number of questions, but i'll trust you not to go crazy with the amount. :-) since it seems i only blog once a week now, i'll post the answers to your questions next week. and, if no one asks me any questions, i'll never blog again. just kidding! but, really, since my readership is now rather low, this little idea could fall flat on its face. at any rate, bring the questions on!
7.28.2008
7.18.2008
not so random thoughts...
- i once again have Internet at my apartment. i say once again as if i'd only recently been without it. anyway, we'll see how long i keep it. since i don't watch television, the Internet can be a major distraction. then again, a time will soon come when i don't have a lot of free time. so, maybe i'll be ok.
- speaking of free time, my summer job with tfa is over! my life is once again my own! praise God! the relationship between my manager and i got much better, but it still wasn't t ideal. despite the challenges and headaches, i learned a lot about myself and what i need in a position and the ways in which i need to grow professionally. it was one of those things that God had to teach me the hard way. for a while now i've known i'm supposed to be doing bigger things and had been timid about going about them. so, this summer position was like a wake up call to show me, "look, keep doing things that aren't the best for you and see how you like it." clearly, i don't like it at all.
- with that in mind, i've been toying with the idea of going back for my ph.d. after this 2nd year of teaching. when i got my master's in '05 the plan was to take a few years off to gain work experience and eventually go back. i went to grad school straight out of college, which is something i wouldn't recommend to anyone. however, i'm starting to get the urge to go back to grad school. the major thing holding me back from really being gung ho about researching and applying is that if i go back to grad school, i'll have to take a major pay cut. being broke is not a good look...
- having two sources of income this summer has given me a better idea of what i need to earn to be at the very least comfortable. before, i had something of an idea, but now it's crystal clear. the trick will be to position myself so that i'm happy with the work i'm doing and financially comfortable. so, it should be a piece of cake! (yeah, right!)
- i made my last (hopefully!) major purchase. i finally have a sofa! yay! it's funny how you learn to do without things and then when you have them, it's like, how did i manage without this? anyway, maybe i'll post a pic of it... actually, it'll probably only happen if i get bored.
- even though i should be reveling in the fact that i don't have much to do, i'm finding myself getting restless. so, what does that mean? it's time to start planning for the coming school year. truth be told, i'm a little behind with that. but, working institute will do that to you. anyway, the first item on the agenda is to write a proposal to get a leveled library for my classroom. (a leveled library is multiple copies of a variety of books for students to read independently and for the teacher to use during small group instruction. the books are meant to reach students where they are, so they don't become frustrated because the text is too easy or difficult.) a leveled library runs about $700, so this is clearly something a benevolent donor will need to fund.
- my grandmother's 80th birthday is in September and we're in full swing with the planning. of course, some mild drama has arisen... but, what would party planning be without that? anyway, i'm looking forward to the party and going home in September for it.
- and it looks like i won't be going to Tulsa again until then. i have a 3 week summer course that meets 5 days a week and it's the last class i need before i can receive my permanent teaching certificate. unfortunately, the class is a complete waste of my time. the professor simply restates what's in the required text and calls it a night. on several occasions, he actually read aloud from the text. it's insulting to the students that he would call what he's doing instructing. this experience also makes me hesitant about returning to grad school. if i have to deal with that kind of thing, it won't be a pretty picture.
- speaking of pictures, i made a change to my page. i'm not sure how long it'll be there. for now, i feel comfortable about it being there.
7.08.2008
too much time on my hands
it probably won't last for long seeing as the next few days at work will be pretty hectic. but, for tonight, i have enough time on my hands to do a meme, which i stole... i mean borrowed from Ladynay. what you're supposed to do is write 7 songs you're feeling right now. here goes...
- Jill Scott's "Whenever You're Around." i blast this in my car and act like I am Jill. I can relate to this song in more ways than one.
- Rhianna's Take A Bow... i'm not a Rhianna fan by any stretch of the imagination (sorry Freaky!), so for me to like this is quite a feat.
- Mili by Lil'Wayne. i blast this song like i don't need to hear well. never mind that i don't know what he's talking about and the only words i know are "a million here/a million there" and "muthafucka i'm ill." hmmm... i think that's all i really need to know.
- John Mayer's "Waiting on the World to Change." one of my friends made a mix CD to help me make it through institute, and this song is on there.
- Rick Ross's "The Boss." this is also my ringtone and another song i blast like there's no tomorrow. honestly, i have no idea how my hearing's still in tact given how loudly i've been playing my music lately. on a side note, Rick Ross has the most immaculate beard i've ever seen. it's unsettling because otherwise he looks kinda dirty.
- i'm almost embarrassed to type this. but, i like that Lookin' Boy song. i think the artist is Hot Stylez. nevertheless, the song makes me giggle and Lord knows I've needed a good laugh.
- Jay-Z's "No Hook." i liked most of American Gangster, but with No Hook, i'll pop the CD in, play that song, and then take it right back out.
7.06.2008
weekend in review
the weekend turned out to be pretty great. on Thursday i went to see Jill Scott, which was a kind of spur of the moment decision. since i'm not driving to Austin next weekend, i decided to spend that money on the ticket to see Jill. i was nervous about going to a concert alone, but i'm soooo glad i went. she was fabulous! what was not so fabulous was the woman sitting next to me with her cell phone and digital camera out shining brightly. once she put them away and stopped talking to her little friend next to her, it was all good. but, i digress. anyway, after leaving, i felt a whole lot better about the things i'd been dealing with the past few weeks. i hadn't really written about how they'd affected me, but suffice it to say i'd been really unhappy. i'd forgotten/lost sight of the fact that as Zora Neale Hurston said, I am "all the world in one drop." it can be easy to lose sight of that when people are telling you otherwise.
on Friday, i got to sleep in instead of waking up at 5:30. yay! my aunt was actually in town with her boss's mother, so i went out to where they were staying and hung out for a while. i also satisfied my urge to get a digital camera. i'm the kind of person where once i get something in mind that i want, i can't/won't rest until i've gotten it or done it. so, i went shopping for a camera at best buy with my aunt. i saw one i liked but was hesitant to get it. i have this thing about doing things for myself that aren't pure necessities. i always feel a little guilty about it, like i should be using the money for more practical things. with getting my hair braided last weekend, the Jill ticket, a $50 sheet set (worth every penny!) and the digital camera, i was concerned i was being frivolous with my money. i'd taken care of business, but still... anyway, i went ahead and got the camera, memory stick, carrying case, and the latest Jill Scott (which i've been playing endlessly all weekend). those will be my last wants purchases for a while. the 4th didn't bring any bbq, but we did see fireworks in the woodlands (a Houston suburb). my aunt and i were actually on the hunt for a cold stone creamery (if you want to be best friend, get me a gift card there! :-) and happened upon the fireworks show. so, we killed two birds with one stone. i'm not really into celebrating 4th of July (see my 7/4 post from 2006), but it was nice to be out of the house and with my aunt. even though i'm apprehensive about her living with me, it's great to be around her. she's one of the few ppl in this world who just knows me. after fireworks, i ended up going back to my apartment (which i'd only slept in one another time the whole summer) to spend the night and to gear up for Saturday.
on Saturday, i went to pick up my bridesmaid's dress. and, you know what, it turned out to be kinda cute. the cornflower blue color isn't hideous, as i thought it would be. now, i'm still not planning to wear the dress ever again. but, at least i'll be pretty when i do have to wear it. after taking care of the dress and renewing my lease, i met up with my aunt and her friend at the Galleria. i hate the Galleria with a passion, but it's the closest mall to may apartment, and i needed to shop for shoes for the wedding, a new outfit, and some things from Victoria's Secret. after dealing with the madness that is the Galleria, i ended up leaving with only the new outfit. my aunt and i spent a few hours chilling at my apartment, before heading off to look at couches at IKEA (a bust!) and seeing Wanted. Wanted was excellent! and, Freaky, i'm with you on Morgan Freeman's cursing being one of the movie's highs. i smiled on the inside when he said "muthafucka." lol... i hadn't been to the movies in a minute, and i'm glad we went to see that one.
today i went to brunch at a friend's house. there's nothing like having mimosas on an empty stomach! i didn't get sick, but it's funny how even that small amount of alcohol hits you quick. i eventually ate some real food, chatted it up and went back to my apartment, where my aunt was. when i got back, i slept like my life depended on it. i don't know what that was about, since i got plenty of sleep this weekend. anyway, when i got up, i talked to my aunt about her move to Houston. before i mentioned my concerns, she brought them up. that's the best thing about knowing one other well. while we didn't come to a resolution about everything, the concerns were at least brought out in the open. she's going back to Tulsa on Wednesday, and i think once i'm done with this job, i'll be able to get my mind around the whole thing. we also talked about the situation with my manager. until now, i hadn't told her about the situation. she knew i thought the work was beneath me, but she didn't know about how things had been playing out between the two of us. it felt good to be able to talk with her about it. my roommate and i have similar managers and we vent and talk about work a lot. but, my aunt is totally invested in me and my happiness. and as selfish as it may sound, that's what i need right now. after we prayed about the situation, off we went to Panera for dinner. after that, we parted ways so i could come back to where i'm staying this summer. i planned to get a lot of work done. but, well, that hasn't been the case. oh, well! this is the last week and i'm ever so happy!
this weekend, it came to me that i ruminate on things way too much. i carry too much stress with me. so, i'm trying to think of some outlet for this stress. i'm working on praying and really leaving things to God. (right now, i pray and still think about the situation.) outside of that, i need some physical outlet. i'm thinking of taking yoga. i took a class in college, but i don't know if that's what i need. oh! i just remembered... my friend mentioned kick boxing classes. hmmm... there's an idea. ;-) until next time...
on Friday, i got to sleep in instead of waking up at 5:30. yay! my aunt was actually in town with her boss's mother, so i went out to where they were staying and hung out for a while. i also satisfied my urge to get a digital camera. i'm the kind of person where once i get something in mind that i want, i can't/won't rest until i've gotten it or done it. so, i went shopping for a camera at best buy with my aunt. i saw one i liked but was hesitant to get it. i have this thing about doing things for myself that aren't pure necessities. i always feel a little guilty about it, like i should be using the money for more practical things. with getting my hair braided last weekend, the Jill ticket, a $50 sheet set (worth every penny!) and the digital camera, i was concerned i was being frivolous with my money. i'd taken care of business, but still... anyway, i went ahead and got the camera, memory stick, carrying case, and the latest Jill Scott (which i've been playing endlessly all weekend). those will be my last wants purchases for a while. the 4th didn't bring any bbq, but we did see fireworks in the woodlands (a Houston suburb). my aunt and i were actually on the hunt for a cold stone creamery (if you want to be best friend, get me a gift card there! :-) and happened upon the fireworks show. so, we killed two birds with one stone. i'm not really into celebrating 4th of July (see my 7/4 post from 2006), but it was nice to be out of the house and with my aunt. even though i'm apprehensive about her living with me, it's great to be around her. she's one of the few ppl in this world who just knows me. after fireworks, i ended up going back to my apartment (which i'd only slept in one another time the whole summer) to spend the night and to gear up for Saturday.
on Saturday, i went to pick up my bridesmaid's dress. and, you know what, it turned out to be kinda cute. the cornflower blue color isn't hideous, as i thought it would be. now, i'm still not planning to wear the dress ever again. but, at least i'll be pretty when i do have to wear it. after taking care of the dress and renewing my lease, i met up with my aunt and her friend at the Galleria. i hate the Galleria with a passion, but it's the closest mall to may apartment, and i needed to shop for shoes for the wedding, a new outfit, and some things from Victoria's Secret. after dealing with the madness that is the Galleria, i ended up leaving with only the new outfit. my aunt and i spent a few hours chilling at my apartment, before heading off to look at couches at IKEA (a bust!) and seeing Wanted. Wanted was excellent! and, Freaky, i'm with you on Morgan Freeman's cursing being one of the movie's highs. i smiled on the inside when he said "muthafucka." lol... i hadn't been to the movies in a minute, and i'm glad we went to see that one.
today i went to brunch at a friend's house. there's nothing like having mimosas on an empty stomach! i didn't get sick, but it's funny how even that small amount of alcohol hits you quick. i eventually ate some real food, chatted it up and went back to my apartment, where my aunt was. when i got back, i slept like my life depended on it. i don't know what that was about, since i got plenty of sleep this weekend. anyway, when i got up, i talked to my aunt about her move to Houston. before i mentioned my concerns, she brought them up. that's the best thing about knowing one other well. while we didn't come to a resolution about everything, the concerns were at least brought out in the open. she's going back to Tulsa on Wednesday, and i think once i'm done with this job, i'll be able to get my mind around the whole thing. we also talked about the situation with my manager. until now, i hadn't told her about the situation. she knew i thought the work was beneath me, but she didn't know about how things had been playing out between the two of us. it felt good to be able to talk with her about it. my roommate and i have similar managers and we vent and talk about work a lot. but, my aunt is totally invested in me and my happiness. and as selfish as it may sound, that's what i need right now. after we prayed about the situation, off we went to Panera for dinner. after that, we parted ways so i could come back to where i'm staying this summer. i planned to get a lot of work done. but, well, that hasn't been the case. oh, well! this is the last week and i'm ever so happy!
this weekend, it came to me that i ruminate on things way too much. i carry too much stress with me. so, i'm trying to think of some outlet for this stress. i'm working on praying and really leaving things to God. (right now, i pray and still think about the situation.) outside of that, i need some physical outlet. i'm thinking of taking yoga. i took a class in college, but i don't know if that's what i need. oh! i just remembered... my friend mentioned kick boxing classes. hmmm... there's an idea. ;-) until next time...
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