on... life

i can't believe it's been nearly two months since my last post. i've wanted to write something for a while, but time always gets the best of me. November was also a busy month, so... here we are.

• November was kicked off with a trip to New Orleans with my friends from college. we had sooo much fun! I love the city and to spend a long weekend with those girls was everything to me. i really do miss having a close group of friends in the same city. 
• the weekend after the New Orleans trip I turned 30! and, sadly, i spent part of my day in urgent care. smh... right after I got back from New Orleans, my torso felt really achy and then I developed a small rash on the small of my back. and then this pain in my side developed. i decided to go to urgent care when the pain literally took my breath away when i bent over. long story short, i had a kidney infection and... shingles. yes, shingles. the old people's ailment. my first thought was: is this what 30+ feels like?! lol... it turns out the kidney infection weakened my immune system, which was already weak due to stress, and the shingles reared its ugly head. i got some antibiotics to clear up the kidney infection and went on my way... 
• to Denver, where i spent nearly an entire week. i went for a work conference, followed by a conference related to grad school. both were in the same hotel, so i didn't really get to see the city. but, what i saw reminded me a lot of Austin. that was both a bad and good thing. both conferences were interesting, so i learned a lot, made some connections, ate some really good food (if you're ever in Denver, check out Boney's... the bbq is great), but was glad to be back in my home, sleeping in my bed, with all my creature comforts. 
• the next week was pretty uneventful, which is a good thing. 
• the following week was Thanksgiving week. the Monday before the holiday, JE and I had a HUGE argument. It basically ended with me telling him what I'd been feeling for a while: that i was ready to break up. I'd fallen out of love with him quite some time ago due to the fact that some of the qualities that originally drew me to him had been lacking tremendously. i'd patiently waited for those qualities to resurface and, well, they never did. now, he is good to me, and i enjoyed our friendship. but, i just wasn't in love anymore. and while i am the woman he claims he wants to marry, i couldn't shake the fact that i was settling. 
• my aunt came Thanksgiving day and stayed until Sunday. it was good to have her here. made me wish i lived closer to family again. i also was sick from the day before Thanksgiving until the Monday or Tuesday after. I think I had a touch of the flu. the flu, shingles, a kidney infection. November was NOT a good month for my body.
• so, while JE and I are officially no longer a couple, he still lives with me. it's unorthodox, but i know he can't afford to live alone here in Austin and he doesn't have family or close friends here. and, since my apartment had 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, we each have our living space. so, this works... for now. this is not a permanent living situation and he'll need to move on and out soon.  I will say that not being in a relationship anymore has lifted a huge weight off of me. i always felt like i had to keep pushing to make things work out, to give and give and give because i thought that's what you're supposed to do in a committed relationship. and, it is (to an extent), but now i see that i was giving too much of myself.
• in the midst of my personal life, work and dissertation related things have been continuing. work is the same, so nothing to report about that. i've made considerable progress on my dissertation. and it looks like (if all goes according to plan), I'll be graduating in May. I've decided to throw myself a graduation dinner party and I even hired an event planner. we've got a date and location all worked out. it's hard to believe this is really happening. of course, this means i have to buckle down and just get this thing written. well, i need to write the last two chapters and revise two of the chapters i already wrote. as long as i get that done, May 18, 2013 is the big day! of course, this also means i have to find a job. it's funny because the past few weeks are the first time that I've truly felt at home here in Austin. i mean, it only took me 3+ years. :-) Now that I'm feeling comfortable, I may be leaving soon. life's funny that way. 
• On Saturday morning, I'm heading home to Tulsa for Christmas. most of my mother's (10) siblings will be there, which is a rarity. so, it should be lots of fun and a welcome reprieve from Austin. there's still a part of me that wants to move back to Tulsa, but who knows?

until next time...