revisiting...

• not much going on since my last post. i actually started this post at like 2 a.m. Sunday morning because i couldn't go to sleep, and after i started poking around on the internet, eventually went to bed about 4 a.m. 
• my not so little anymore brother texted me Saturday night and said that he wanted me to help him decide on a tattoo design for our mother. my brother's like me, so i knew he wasn't close to getting it, but was just getting his thoughts together. after he told me what he had in mind, i looked some things up and sent him some ideas.
• helping my brother with his tattoo got me to thinking more about what i wanted. at the start of the summer i shared that i wanted to get one with frogs for my mom. money was funny and i was nervous about it, so i didn't go through with it. i still wanted one, but wasn't ready yet. anyway, while looking for designs for my brother, i came up with new options. i still want something that's more symbolic and less literal. also, i wanted something more subtle than my original inner ankle choice. i'm not really big on flowers, but i saw a blog that mentioned the emergence of forget-me-not tats. i looked up the meaning of the flower as well as pics and felt it was exactly what i was looking for. i don't want a rose because i don't really like them and feel they're played out. also, my mom wasn't into doing what everyone else did. so, they were out. so, i had decided on an inner (left) wrist tattoo of four forget-me-nots with ne me quitte pas (don't leave me) written in script. what i'm struggling with is whether i want them to be black and white or in color. forget-me-nots are traditionally pink, blue, and white, but since i'm darker, they may not translate well to my skin. 

A picture of real forget-me-nots

A forget-me-not tattoo design that I found and really liked

• so, i was all prepared to e-mail the tattoo artist i worked with back in June, send him some pics, as well as my thoughts on what i wanted it to look like, and make an appointment to see him. until... during my search for forget me not design ideas, i saw cherry blossoms. omg... those got my creative juices flowing AND cherry blossoms have powerful meanings. For the Chinese, the cherry blossom is a very significant symbol of power. Typically it represents a feminine beauty and sexuality and often holds an idea of power or feminine dominance. For the Japanese, the cherry blossom holds very different meaning. The cherry blossom is a very delicate flower that blooms for a very short time and thus represents the transience of life. so, off i went in search of cherry blossoms tattoos. for this one, i thought about doing it behind my ear so i can choose when i want to show it. idk why i didn't have the same idea for the forget-me-nots, but whatever...

real cherry blossoms

cherry blossoms over the shoulder

My favorite... i love how realistic they look, especially the falling petals

I like the size, but the artwork looks a little too elementary for my tastes.

And here are two behind the ear designs. i like the one on the right better than the left, mainly because they look like a poor man's cherry blossoms. but, they give me an idea of what the finished product would look like.

at any rate, i'm torn about which way to go. as crazy as it may seem, i'm going to pray about it. this is clearly something i need to do, i just need to be thoughtful in my choice.

•  speaking of praying for/about unusual things, when i decided to start wearing my natural hair again, i prayed for guidance on how to style it. it sounds silly, but i was concerned because i have little styling skills. and now, thanks to Youtube, blogs, etc. i have places to go and get inspiration. it amazes me. it's funny because when i stopped perming back in 2002, most of these resources weren't available or they weren't as explicit with instructions. i'm typically an auditory learner, but when it comes to hair styles, i need pictures!
• i got a pair of Nine West shoes for about $30! A few days ago I received a coupon in my email for $47 off a pair of shoes. Nine West has a program where you get a free pair of shoes after purchasing 4... it turns out the pair isn't completely free. they average the amount you spent for the previous 4 and that's the amount they give you. anyway, long story short, JE and i were at the mall, i saw the shoes, which were also 25% off, and coupling that with the $47 off, I scored a cute pair of shoes for little money. 
• the lady brought the shoes out to me and also brought me a pair i didn't ask for, "just for fun." i couldn't help but chuckle because i knew she was trying to rack up her commission, but i also wasn't mad at her. she had a keen sense of my style because she brought me this pair (click on the black/multi swatch), and i really liked them. so, i got them too, knowing good and well i'd be returning one pair in a few days. i just couldn't justify buying two pairs of shoes when i didn't need either one of them. i got home, tried them on, and let JE give his opinion. of course, he liked the heels. when i told him  they would begin to hurt given that all my weight was distributed on a 3 1/2 in heel, he said that was strong enough. *blank stare* I then told him to put them on to see if he still felt that way, to which he gave me a serious side eye. LOL! i'm taking the flats back because a) i have a LOT of flats, b) the other shoe is fun and one i wouldn't normally buy, and c) the flats weren't on sale. if i wait a while longer, hopefully they'll drop to a more reasonable price.
• while at the mall, i got hungry and went to eat at the food court. the "Chinese" food spot was giving out free samples of their chicken. why did this chick ask if it was duck? no, ma'am, it's just cheap chicken... the funny thing is she was acting like she wasn't going to eat it if it was duck. 
• hormonal contraceptives are a blessing and a curse. long story short, in August i had to go off birth control because of my blood pressure. i was VERY nervous about going to condoms only because we can not afford a child right now. but, i had to do what i had to do. flash forward to this month when to my surprise, my period does not start. i'm not flipping out because we'd been taking the necessary precautions and because of the fertility issue i mentioned a few months ago. but, you know, God works in mysterious ways and while we're thinking nothing's happening, in a few months i'll be posting ultrasound pics for ya'll... smh... so, i did some research, took a pregnancy test (Negative!) and discover that many women coming off the nuvaring experience this problem: early pregnancy and/or start of period symptoms, and yet nothing happens. several years ago, i went off the pill and didn't have this problem at all. then again, i wasn't sleeping with anyone at that time, so i wouldn't have been as concerned. i say all of that to say: NO BABIES HERE! :-)
• i may be picking up another part time job. a few weeks ago, i got an e-mail from Austin Independent School District saying that they were interested in interviewing me for a position. the funny thing is i don't recall applying for the job. i looked at it, but didn't apply because i didn't meet all the minimum qualifications. i email back and explain that i just began a part time job, but would they be willing to consider me for the same position, but on a part time basis. i get a call a few hours later to set up the interview for two days later. i go to the interview and even though my stomach was doing the MOST that day (i.e. i felt like i was going to throw up nearly all day), the interview went well. it was more like a conversation than an interview. oh, they had their list of questions, and i had mine, but it was very casual. even if i didn't get the job, i wouldn't have been mad because it was a great experience. anyway, last week i e-mailed to check on my status and a few days later, the woman who would be my supervisor called me and said they were very interested in me and essentially said they wanted to hire me, but had to figure out where they could pull the money from. don't be alarmed. they mentioned in the interview that several grants had been awarded to the district and they just had to make sure they used the right funds. she then went on to say that they had some part time jobs available now that could turn into a full time position whenever i was ready! in the meantime, she asked me to send her references and to fill out the job application. so, i was right, i didn't apply for it. they must have seen my resume in the database for other jobs i'd applied for. so, once my references have been checked and they get the money thing worked out, i'll be working another job. right now, my schedule is so open it's ridiculous. outside of my three classes and one weekly meeting, i make my own schedule. i love it, but i see now that i need more structure. i get everything done, but i just need to be better disciplined about when it gets done.

 whew, it looks like i had a lot more to talk about than i thought! until next time...