Not So Fast...

So, i'm having second thoughts about teaching. it's so funny because until this morning, i was all set to go ahead and confirm my offer and start making moves to head to Houston in June. don't get me wrong, i believe in the work and the mission, but i'm not so sure if teaching is the best route for me. i mean, am i meant to be a teacher? is it the best fit for me? i don't want to teach for the rest of my life and i've actually been going to law school within the next few years. i'm confident that being a Teach.For.America corps member will prepare me very well for law school and in many cases will make my application stand out, esp. at top law schools. really, it'll prepare me for anything i want to do.

then again, i also love being on staff. yes, the hours are long and yes, i get tired of always being "on" and being more than a little stressed at at times. but, at the end of the day i couldn't have asked for a better organization to work for. today, i came into the office at about 11 am and one of my co-workers was on her way to a Kentucky basketball game here at the GA Dome. and both situations are fine, as long as we get our work done. i don't know of many jobs that are more concerned about the work you put in as opposed to the amount of time. i like being able to work from home (or wherever there is a wireless connection), having a great deal of flexibility, a very organized and supportive environment, and still working for a cause i feel passionately about. there have only been a few times since i started this job in July that i really didn't want to go work in the morning. but, those feelings passed, esp. when i worked more on my personal/professional alignment. i feel like the skills i've gained will serve me well in just about any job. as hard as it may be to believe, i actually feel like i could work anywhere and do well. but, right now, i'm not interested in working anywhere else. i wonder if my skills wouldn't be better used as a staff member as opposed to a corps member.

the only thing i worry about is that if i stay on staff, i won't earn enough money. yeah, teaching isn't a high dollar profession. but from what i'd understand, i'd make more teaching than if i stay on staff. and, if the Americorps grant is renewed, i earn an educational award at the end of my two years that can go towards my student loans. and lord knows, i need to reduce that debt as much as possible, esp. if i want to go to law school. also, i'll be able to defer my student loan payments while i teach. and that's a very good thing. it'll give me time to get things in order. i hate that it has to be about the money, but hey, it has to be about the money.

i wonder if these feelings are coming up because deep down i'm afraid of the unknown or do they really mean i should slow down and reconsider this. being in a new city is a draw for me, but if i stay on stay i can always work from the Houston office. that's not a big deal. i have until March 19th to stay yes or no to teaching. but, i can ask for an extension on making a decision. i kind of see it as a win-win decision, no matter which i choose. i'm just not sure what to do...