Thursday Thoughts

• yesterday was my 6 month blogging anniversary. for some reason it seems like i've been at this longer. a part of me wants to take a break from blogging, not because i don't like it, but i find i don't have much to say anymore. (well, not that i've ever had a lot to talk about.) i'm sure things will pick up soon.
• my hair looks somewhat of a mess (the crown's grown super fast and is much longer than the rest; it looks strange). but, i'm hesitant to go to the hairdresser. there's a place that only does natural hair i've been to lately. however, each time i've been, i have a mini-debate with whomever the stylist is. they are under the impression that i either perm or press my hair despite the fact that i tell them it's been nearly 4 years since a relaxer touched my hair and over 3 years since it's been pressed. i mean, why would i lie about something like that? that's like lying to your doctor about your medical history; it'll only hurt you in the end. one of the sylists told me she'd never seen hair like mine before. uhmmm... ok.
• as part of my job i co-manage 7 college students. they're all bright, ambitious and motivated people. so, i'm perplexed by the fact that they've been acting as if they don't know how to read. i sent them instructions on how to do something several weeks ago and it turns out they only been doing half of what the instructions said needed to be done in order for the task to be completed correctly. i communicate with them mainly via e-mail, and i've had to show a great deal of restraint in not cutting them down with my words.
• it's almost 11 pm, which is my bedtime, but i'm not sleepy. i don't know what the deal is, but i've been having a terrible time going to sleep. earlier this week, i was in bed, lights out at 11 pm, and i tossed and turned, dozed off and woke up and when i looked at the clock it was only 12:30! i eventually went back to sleep for good, but it wasn't easy.
• even though i rarely remember my dreams, i dreamed last night that i met this older man who i dated for a while (at least i think it was a while; i don't have a good sense of time when i dream). then he took me out to dinner one night and we went to this place that was reserved just for us; it was very romantic, and then he proposed. i accepted because i really liked him. then it came out that he didn't really have his shit together. (i don't really remember what was wrong w/ him.) now, i'm not sure if me in the dream knew this and was ok with it and my conscious mind got wind of it and didn't like it or what, but it was disconcerting nonetheless.
• i'm trying to think of what i want to do for my birthday next month, but the only thing i can think of is going to dinner. that's so played out. then again, i don't really want to plan anything. on the real, all i want is some cake and ice cream!
• my cell phone hasn't rang in almost 48 hours. well, i do turn it off when i'm in the office, but when i get home, it's like i don't even have a phone. that makes me a little sad.
• so, i've been looking at a few African American Studies Ph.D. programs, and i'm disappointed in the lack of information on some sites (ahem... UMass). i mean, is it too much to ask to have say an updated link to current courses or perhaps a list of the professor's research interests? apps are due in 2 months and i still haven't decided if i'm going to apply. i first intended to apply to about 7, but well, i'm not into like that anymore. so, i think i'll do no more than 4 and call it a day. application fees are no joke and i'll have to pay to have my GRE scores sent as well. i'm thinking about just applying to schools that don't require GRE scores. granted, this limits me, but i know that Berkeley and UMass don't require them and both programs are top notch.
• i don't know why i'm considering moving back to Cali. when i lived in Santa Barbara, i was pretty miserable. then again, every city in CA isn't like Santa Barbara. oh, wait, i forgot about how much i despised the time difference. i hardly ever talked to anyone on the east coast! lol... oh well, it's a price you have to pay.
• i need to buy some new fall clothes. it seems like when i go and buy new clothes, i lose a little weight and some things just don't look right anymore. also, for some reason going clothes shopping doesn't excite me like it once would have. perhaps it's because i don't have the $$ to shop like i want, but it could also be that what's important to me is changing.
• i'm supposed to go out for drinks with some of my co-workers tomorrow night, but i don't really want to go. i like all the people i work with, so that's not the issue. maybe i'll feel better about it in tomorrow.
• for some reason i've been calling Mr. Ambitious a lot more than i normally would. it's strange because typically i can only really tolerate him in doses. however, last week he came over for several hours to work on these invitations for a party he's having in a few weeks and the next night i went to his house to finish the invitations. the next night, i found i kinda missed him. really, i think i'm just a little lonely. i really don't like living alone. it's boring.

ok, i'm finally sleepy, so i guess that means lights out for me...